Listen, I travel an obscene amount. In fact, I took off a whole year just to travel. So I get that some of my friends don’t get me and my jetsetting ways. It’s ok. I have my tribe – Nomadness Travel Tribe to be exact and they get me.

I’d love for all my friends to enjoy travel like I do but it’s not a big deal. Some of them love designer bags like I love travel and despite the “experiences over things” rhetoric that’s so popular among travel addicts, I think there’s nothing wrong with that. Love what you love.

But the gap between us becomes a chasm when you do these things:

1.When I say I’m headed to Paris and you say “must be nice”

Yes, it is nice, actually. It’s real nice. But you just made it not nice with that hating ass comment. Now it’s awkward. How am I supposed to respond to this?

Please stop.

2.When you don’t invite us to stuff

It’s a horrible pattern. I go on FB or IG, unwittingly scroll through my feed and up pops photos of you having a damn good time without me and I immediately wonder how I didn’t get invited. So I post that passive aggressive “looking around for my invite” comment. You invariably respond with “I didn’t think you’d be in town”.

BRUUUUUH!

If I told you some dude I was seeing did this to me, you and I would be going in about how trifling dude is. In this scenario, YOU are the trifling dude.

I know it’s not your job to manage my travel schedule. I’m more than qualified to keep up with it. Therefore, if you ever need to know if something conflicts with my flight plans, you can just ask me. Ask me if I’ll be in town because you have something going on. Don’t be the trifling dude.

Also, it really sucks to be left out of things.

3. When you say “some of us have to work”

Ummm all of us have to work! Well, those of us that aren’t sugar babies (I’d argue that they have to work as well, but that’s not appropriate for this discussion). Don’t try to make me feel bad because I’ve figured out a way to take full advantage of my company’s vacation policy. If anything, pull up a chair and let me teach you my ways.

4. When you slide up in our DMs or texts and ask us to find you a flight for x day to x location

Look, I don’t mind sharing tips but it’s hard enough to plan my own trips, don’t ask me to plan yours. I’m busy trying to figure out what to pack 2 hours before my flight or trying to stop myself from booking yet another flight deal or trying to recalculate my left over vacation time.

Also, there are people who get paid to plan your trip for you and there’s just WAY too much free information online. I’mma give you one for free but the next one’s gonna cost ya.

5. When you downplay your own travels

You really REALLY don’t have to say “well, I’m only going to Jamaica” or “I mean, I’m not on your travel level yet but”. This is not a competition. Whether you’re going to Houston or The Bahamas or Paris I’m just happy you’re getting out there. Be excited, I’m excited for you! Jamaica is fantastic. Plus, you’d be surprised at the places I haven’t been. I’m looking forward to you giving me all the details!

6. When you tag us in every travel related post you run across

Listen, I’m glad you’re excited and on board with my love for travel. I really am. But this is getting out of hand. I don’t need to see the same article titled “Why I Choose Travel Over Things” or that damn world map watch for the 1,756th time.

I hope I’m not being ungrateful. I appreciate you thinking about me. Just, ya know, tone it down some.

7. When you act like you’re coming on a trip with us, but we both know you ain’t

Don’t text me, call me, slide up in my DMs, or post comments on my status talmbout you’re coming to Bali with me. We both know you ain’t goin no damn where. Holla at me when you’ve purchased a ticket, until then, your threats of a good time in these international streets are just as empty as the threats from the mom in the cereal aisle counting down from 150,000 while her unruly 5 year old eats fruit loops from the box making full frontal eye contact with her the entire time. I’m not here for it.

Come with those receipts so I know you’re coming for real. Else, hush.

8. When you try to convince us that we’re single because we travel

You sound foolish. You do know there are a bunch of single people not setting foot on planes right? Sure, traveling makes it tough to navigate dating. But so does being ugly, or busy, or tired AF. My point is, it’s still doable. Busy people, tired people and even assholes still end up in relationships. Traveling isn’t the reason I’m single. I was single before I started jetsetting, what was the reason then? Was I an asshole? C’mon.

9. When you tell us you have “real responsibilities”

Umm kiss my ass. My mortgage is hella real.

10. When you ask “why would you go there? Is it safe?”

Uhh why do you live here? Is it safe? Seriously. Americans have such a warped sense of security & insecurity when it comes to how we view our home vs foreign lands. Could you imagine someone in France, telling their friend “Don’t go to the US! I heard there was a shooting in Vegas!”…it’s one city, in one state, in an entire country. But Americans STAY ready to write off a whole country because they heard something went down in one place.

Chill out folks. For reals.

There are quite a few “unsafe” cities right here in the US that no one bats an eye about when I say I’m headed there. Likely because you know that those cities have unsafe pockets and I won’t be in those pockets. Apply that logic to the city in whatever foreign country I’m going to. There are unsafe pockets and those pockets are not on my itinerary. M’kay.

11. When you are so far away from us

I love getting on planes and going to new places. I love trying delicious food, meeting new people, dancing to unfamiliar but infectious music, staring at the clouds from an airplane window, reshaping my mind and expectations, hearing different languages, getting lost, and feeling free. I love it all.

But, I also love you. I hate when you’re so far away. I hope to see you soon 🙂